April 2011
17 posts
Apr 29th
28 notes
3 tags
Apr 23rd
9 notes
5 tags
Apr 21st
1 note
“Today’s Sunday, right?”
– Boyfriend, Tuesday afternoon, Six Flags
Apr 19th
4 tags
SF Comedy Cellar
This my new favorite room in the city. It’s in the Tenderloin at 222 Hyde. I saw the cutest baby and a shoeless crackhead, they weren’t together though. Last night I worked on my “OMG, I’m so pretty” jokes. It’s the only thing that got a good laugh. I need to add on to it though and discuss my post-traumatic sex disorder. PTSD is best described as extreme...
Apr 15th
2 notes
3 tags
SEX!
So, this one time I cheated on my husband. Twice actually. But this specific time I’m talking about happened in the fall of 2008. I met this nerd in my world religions class in community college (always keeping it classy) and we went to some ghetto party in Daly City. I got drunk and stayed at his house and we made out. He wanted to fuck and I said, “I just met you” and he said,...
Apr 14th
5 notes
Apr 13th
1 note
pappiness asked: when you gonna come fuck with the new parish on tuesday nights?
Apr 12th
Apr 12th
4 notes
2 tags
“You’ve got to be good at words and grammar if you’re going to be a...”
– Mimi Vilmenay, on overcoming barrierrs 
Apr 11th
2 tags
Shit.
Brian just said “Poo Fighters”.
Apr 10th
1 note
3 tags
Boo Fighters is more like it
Julian is playing the new Foo Fighters album really loudly this morning to try to prove a point. He’s not going to win. My point is new Dave Grohl looks like an idiot when he waves his arm around in the air. I liked 1996 Dave Grohl way more. He was humble back then. (and their new music is disgusting. It’s dad rock, but not cool.)
Apr 10th
1 note
3 tags
Sisters
Me: I need you to stop calling your sister "Dinah Vagina".
Vera: I don't think I can do that. (pauses, shakes her head) Nope. Don't think I can do that. I'm sorry, Mommy.
Apr 8th
4 notes
“Oh my gosh! There’s a Chuck E. Cheese ticket in my pocket! This is the...”
– Vera, 5 years old
Apr 7th
3 notes
2 tags
“I don’t think I’ve had a boner outside of your house for quite...”
– Boyfriend, just now.
Apr 3rd
10 notes
1 tag
Apr 3rd
3 tags
Waffles and titties
Oh my God. Who wears sweatpants at a strip club? I’ll tell you who. Me. Mimi. I’ve heard that there’s a waffle house in Portland* that features exotic dancers. I’m going to go there for breakfast in my sweatpants and feel really good about myself. Bridgetown Comedy Festival here I come! *just used the internet to look up the name of the club. It’s Acropolis Club...
Apr 1st
2 notes