"I Don't Want To Be Friends" - Lady Gaga (and Mimi...
Alternate Title: Ode to My Ex-Fake Boyfriend In a previous post I wrote about how in love I was with this guy that I was having a casual no-strings-attached relationship with. We texted each other daily, hourly even, a never ending stream of txt bubbles that read, “You’re funny.” “No. You’re funny.” During a drunken night at a SXSW film party we walked around telling anyone within earshot,...
Ode to my Phantom Boyfriend. (Yes, I'm drunk.)
I love my fake boyfriend. I love my fake boyfriend because he comes over, we get high and fuck and then go get donuts and he leaves the next morning and I don’t see him again until, whenever. I love my fake boyfriend because he always wants to watch Arrested Development and the Office. He never wants to watch Tarantino or any of that homo dude shit that I always want to watch that will just give...