March 2013
2 posts
1 tag
"Who here is afraid of black people?"
I just found a page in my notebook of “jokes” and it says this: Marijuana - The last weed you sold me made me really offensive. I couldn’t stop typing in all caps. Maury. NY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN -Job-, Jizz, No GFs -Red Bull- -Autism Party- Ahh Mutants Who here is afraid of black people?
Mar 8th
1 note
2 tags
Girls and how it makes me feel :(
I guess I really don’t know what to say other then when I Googled “Lena Dunham bmi” I saw that she’s a size 8. A SIZE 8?! I am a size 8!! The worst part is that this upsets me. I’m upset that I’m upset that we’re the same size, I really mean that. I wish I didn’t need to Google “Lena Dunham bmi” but I had to. I couldn’t do anything...
Mar 7th
2 notes
October 2012
2 posts
Oct 6th
8 notes
Oct 6th
1 note
September 2012
2 posts
Sep 25th
2 notes
1 tag
Sep 25th
August 2012
6 posts
2 tags
Aug 30th
858 notes
Aug 30th
1 note
Aug 25th
3 notes
Anonymous asked: Sorry about your PTSD.
Aug 12th
Aug 7th
Aug 2nd
July 2012
4 posts
3 tags
Jul 19th
2 notes
Jul 14th
163 notes
1 tag
Jul 13th
3 notes
2 tags
Jul 10th
3 notes
June 2012
3 posts
Here's a real conversation I had with my...
We’ve been touching each others privates for a couple years, so maybe it’s time to talk about maybe getting married (someday). Boyfriend said, “your engagement ring will be here at the end of the month. I have between 1-60 days to propose. You don’t know when it’s gonna happen. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, maybe in two months.” And I replied,...
Jun 19th
2 notes
1 tag
Jun 16th
Jun 2nd
8 notes
May 2012
5 posts
4 tags
May 31st
5 notes
May 30th
4 notes
May 10th
1 note
3 tags
May 7th
3 notes
4 tags
May 7th
1 note
April 2012
3 posts
2 tags
WatchWatch
Zelda stretching.
Apr 24th
Apr 13th
8,477 notes
“I have a joke about how pretty I am, but I’m on my period so I’m not going to...”
– Mimi Vilmenay @ Vitus [Paraphrase] (via courtingcomedy)
Apr 2nd
2 notes
March 2012
6 posts
Mar 31st
2 notes
2 tags
Comedy Shows
Oh hey guys. I’m still doing stand up. April 15th at 8pm at the San Francisco Punch Line. Google it and buy a ticket. Or two. Bring your significant other. If you don’t have a significant other you can sit with my boyfriend. He’s the tall guy with the nose.
Mar 30th
Mar 15th
Mar 10th
4 notes
Mar 4th
Mar 3rd
2 notes
February 2012
13 posts
1 tag
Feb 23rd
5 notes
Feb 21st
Feb 20th
4 notes
Feb 18th
Feb 18th
2 tags
Feb 15th
2 notes
Feb 13th
2 notes
3 tags
“What if I whispered, ‘my precious’ the first time I touched your...”
– Legitimate questioned I asked boyfriend tonight. Day 3 of flu.
Feb 10th
8 notes
2 tags
Feb 5th
3 notes
3 tags
Feb 5th
2 tags
“Get down from there! If you fall out the window and die I’m going to be...”
– Me, coaxing Vera off the living room window sill
Feb 4th
1 tag
Feb 3rd
2 notes
3 tags
Feb 2nd
1 note
January 2012
16 posts
2 tags
Jan 31st
4 notes
2 tags
Jan 30th
4 notes
Jan 28th
2 notes
1 tag
“I want to get so skinny that having sex with me isn’t as fun for you...”
– Me, talking to Boyfriend about goals
Jan 24th
1 note