February 2012
13 posts
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“What if I whispered, ‘my precious’ the first time I touched your...”
– Legitimate questioned I asked boyfriend tonight. Day 3 of flu.
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“Get down from there! If you fall out the window and die I’m going to be...”
– Me, coaxing Vera off the living room window sill
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January 2012
16 posts
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“I want to get so skinny that having sex with me isn’t as fun for you...”
– Me, talking to Boyfriend about goals
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“I’m not putting my pants on! Except for when I need to wear my pants!”
– Vera, age 6 (she’s logical)
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Breakfast Talk
This morning my friend asked me if I thought there was a market for dildos with foreskin.
“Black people are the coolest!”
– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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December 2011
16 posts
Tonight!
Club Deluxe in the Haight at 9pm. I’m going to tell jokes and complain about Christmas.
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Oakland tonight. →
Mimi Vilmenay and Matt Gubser in... Home School
Mimi Vilmenay: I thought Herman Cain played for the Giants. I didn't know, I don't pay attention to politics. I went to home school.
Matt Gubser (muttering, in audience): They don't teach about black people at home school.
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To everyone reblogging my Adele joke and...
I think Adele is a beautiful woman and an amazing singer and I love her gigantic talented ass.
Calm down. Take a Fativan.
BOOM!
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I just unfollowed NPR Fresh Air.
I’m sick of being a liar. (only a little bit)
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November 2011
5 posts
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