How To Party Like A Mother

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“Who here is afraid of black people?”

I just found a page in my notebook of “jokes” and it says this:

Marijuana

- The last weed you sold me made me really offensive. I couldn’t stop typing in all caps. Maury. NY

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN

-Job-, Jizz, No GFs

-Red Bull-

-Autism Party- Ahh Mutants

Who here is afraid of black people?

Filed under autism party

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Girls and how it makes me feel :(

I guess I really don’t know what to say other then when I Googled “Lena Dunham bmi” I saw that she’s a size 8. A SIZE 8?! I am a size 8!! The worst part is that this upsets me. I’m upset that I’m upset that we’re the same size, I really mean that. I wish I didn’t need to Google “Lena Dunham bmi” but I had to. I couldn’t do anything else today until I found out if she was (from a scientific standpoint) overweight. I feel like I have to stop making fat jokes completely. Also, I can’t tell if the show is a drama or a comedy. Either way it makes me feel too many fake emotions and I just think I should get a job but I don’t want to finish college.

YOU GUYSSSSSSS :((((((((((((((

Filed under Girls Lena Dunham BMI

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I’m taking this blog in a new direction. Here’s a picture of me eating a flesh-colored Popsicle in my swimming clothes. I’m going to add my “bio” to this for “career” purposes since this obviously has to be my official “head shot”. “Mimi Vilmenay” is a stand-up comedian. She talks a lot about how much she hates her children because it’s relatable (most people hate children). She lived in Port-au-Prince, Haiti as a child and thinks she’s really special because of this. She loves her dogs and her boyfriend and hopes she never has to work that hard because she tires easily.

I’m taking this blog in a new direction. Here’s a picture of me eating a flesh-colored Popsicle in my swimming clothes.

I’m going to add my “bio” to this for “career” purposes since this obviously has to be my official “head shot”.

“Mimi Vilmenay” is a stand-up comedian. She talks a lot about how much she hates her children because it’s relatable (most people hate children). She lived in Port-au-Prince, Haiti as a child and thinks she’s really special because of this. She loves her dogs and her boyfriend and hopes she never has to work that hard because she tires easily.

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courtingcomedy: Tonight: Cameron Vannini @ Milk Bar. 1840 Haight St. SF. Free. 8PM. Featuring Jeff Anaya, Richard Dreyling, Eric Barry, Mimi Vilmenay, and Josh Marcus. Hosted by Matt Lieb. 

courtingcomedy:

Tonight: Cameron Vannini @ Milk Bar. 1840 Haight St. SF. Free. 8PM. Featuring Jeff Anaya, Richard Dreyling, Eric Barry, Mimi Vilmenay, and Josh Marcus. Hosted by Matt Lieb. 

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Why don’t you guys come watch me tell these jokes at Milk Bar on Haight st. tomorrow night? 8pm (maybe?) FREE Cameron Vanini headlines (he’s funny!)

Why don’t you guys come watch me tell these jokes at Milk Bar on Haight st. tomorrow night? 8pm (maybe?) FREE
Cameron Vanini headlines (he’s funny!)

Filed under jizzus

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Anonymous asked: Sorry about your PTSD.

Hey, it’s okay. Really. It is. PTSD does suck but if you take drugs or meditate to try to forget whatever terrible things you may have seen (google image search “hematoma”) then you can lead a normal life. I like to do drugs and yoga and all that kind of baloney but everyone is different.

If you have PTSD too I hope you’re taking care of yourself. There is nothing to be afraid of. (Except for the very possible threat of alien invasion and shark attacks.)

Also, not that I’m paranoid but Anonymous is so vague. Are you a spy?


(that was another PTSD joke)